Theme 2: Caregiving shapes us
Caregiving shapes us the way that water shapes the land. Over time, it can wear us down, but it also carves out strength, resilience and unexpected beauty. We may not fully see how caregiving has changed us until we pause and reflect — on what we’ve lost, what we’ve gained and who we’ve become in the process.
Our interior landscape is the part of us that only we know. It is the voice in our mind, the place we sit when we are quiet and alone with our thoughts, our sense of self. It is our source of strength, the receptacle of our doubts and the home for all that is us. When we map our interior landscapes, we are “in care of” ourselves.
Overwhelmed, November 2024
“Most days overwhelmed and can’t think straight. Trying to take care of my needs first. Pressured to take care of everything NOW! Thankful in the quiet times.”
The right thing, November 2024
“Guilt at putting my husband in an Assisted living facility. Did I do the right thing. But knowing I did – I had other family members that depend on me.”
Big emotions
Caregiving often comes with big emotions: guilt, resentment and overwhelm, along with joy, connection and laughter. Sometimes it’s the small things that contribute to our big emotions. Recognizing and honoring these emotions as they come can help us understand our inner landscapes.
In her own words and images, a caregiver reflects on the big emotions of caregiving.
New skills, October 2024
“Learned a QiGong lift from VA practitioner & meditation breathing at workshop for caregivers in Holman, WI. This day, I slept the whole night! afterwards.”
Taking the time, November 2024
“I’m thankful for the day to have some time for myself and to learn about mindfulness.”
Self-care
As caregivers, we all have our own ways of taking care of ourselves. Some of us knit to keep our hands busy in the waiting room at the clinic. Some of us take up meditation or QiGong to soothe our nervous systems. Some of us have coffee with friends, or practice self compassion — treating ourselves the way that we would treat our care recipient or best friend.
Reflecting on our own constellations of self-care — the self-soothing and emotional hygiene strategies that work best for us — can give us the tools we need to manage big emotions as they flow in and out of our interior landscape.
Bright spots, October 2024
“I never thought that after over 40 years of caring for our severely disabled daughter that I would still have the joy in my heart instead of the frustration etc that I felt earlier. In many ways things are better. We still need to work on the respite part however. A break is really important and it gives our daughter a chance to connect with others which she is so good at. Her smiles, giggles will brighten anyone’s day. As the saying goes…’It takes a village’. It truly does. We can’t do this alone.”
Nothing is lost, February 2025
“This has helped me: No act done out of love or concern is lost. It may not be appreciated at the time or ever but it is not lost.”
Finding serenity
Exploring our interior landscape as it shifts can help us find serenity and rediscover our path. For some, our interior landscape becomes accessible when we take time to become one with our external landscapes. The dramatic beauty of natural environments invites opportunities for personal reflection. Finding and creating these experiences can be vital for a caregiver.
Too much to do, January 2025
“I get crabby when I’m trying to do something I like, that is fun or enjoyable like putting up holiday lights, and I don’t have enough time because there are too many responsibilities to tend to and I don’t have help.”
Caregiving is all around us
Books, movies, TV shows, podcasts, art, poetry: Caregiving shows up in many different mediums. Reading, looking and listening can help us process and move through our caregiving experience. Even when the topic is not about caregiving, we can make connections and learn lessons that help us feel seen, think clearly, decide to act or find peace. If we look for it, caregiving is all around us. If we look for it, so is joy, community, empowerment and peace.
Books like Everything Left to Remember by Steph Jagger and Burnout by Emily Nagosaki and Amelia Nagosaki are just two examples of creative works that portray the experiences of caregivers.
Different realities, January 2025
“It’s really frustrating to be the caregiver when the care receiver, a friend and housemate, is part of a family system that denies the decline. Some families engage in the process and problem solving, other families deny and discount the decreasing abilities and symptoms.”
In Care Of: Postcard-Sized Portrayals of Caregiving in Wisconsin aims to validate these heartfelt reflections and experiences while sparking conversation around caregiving — an essential yet often invisible role. The exhibition highlights how complex emotions are deeply woven into caregiving, shaping people in transformative ways.
Special thank you to our community partners:
- Ashley Berghoff
- Wisconsin Family and Caregiver Support Alliance
- UW–Madison Division of Extension
- Anonymous Fund
- Ira and Ineva Reilly Baldwin Wisconsin Idea Endowment
The exhibition is a collaboration between caregiving expert Kristin Litzelman, family caregiver Kristin Voss and the Nancy M. Bruce Center for Design and Material Culture at the UW–Madison School of Human Ecology. Litzelman, an associate professor in the Human Development & Family Studies department at the School of Human Ecology, conducts research focused on the relationships between caregivers and care recipients, caregiver access to both formal and informal support, and caregivers’ experiences more generally. Voss is the founder of the Center for Caregiver Serenity, a Madison-area nonprofit inspired by Voss’ own experiences that seeks to support family caregivers and educate society about family caregiving.